Off to Thailand. Birth control nearly over… and on Wednesday, I start a-sniffing the Synarel. Will update when I’m back. We’re getting to the GOOD stuff. Also: Phuket!
Although if one more person nods and winks and tells me to ‘just relax’ on holidays, I’m going to start stabbing them with forks. Just sayin’.
I mentioned a few days ago that I was waiting for my treatment schedule to come in the mail. It arrived Monday, with one of my appointments booked in for a day where we’re in Thailand {did I mention we’re going to Thailand?} which of course led to complete panic mode for me. Would they let us continue with the cycle? Would they be willing to change appointments? All is well, and so here’s the plan.
Currently: enjoying a month free of charting, OPK-ing and wondering if I’ll actually O. Taking a daily dose of my usual Metformin, prenatals, and the birth control pill.
Thurs 29th March: early morning appointment at the Fertility Centre, where I’ll pick up and pay for my Synarel nasal spray – nurse will explain the process to me.
April 1st-5th: heading off to Thailand for a destination wedding. I start taking Synarel on the 4th, so the day before we leave to come back home. Take this twice daily.
Thurs 12th April: early morning appointment at the Fertility Centre, where I’ll pay for the full cycle and be instructed on how to self-inject. Begin injections of Puregon.
Monitoring and blood and ultrasounds will all start taking place during the stim part of the cycle, but I have no dates for these yet. But, if all goes well, with no OHS or super high, cycle-cancelling progesterone, I have an estimated egg collection from April 23-27. Suddenly, that doesn’t feel so far away. 
I’ve spent the last few days in a bit of a blur, thinking and over-thinking what’s to come in the next few months. It’s all baby-centred, of course – but that’s to be expected, since we’ve started our first ever IVF cycle. Let me back track a little and explain how that meeting went down.
On Thursday, we took the day off work to attend our nursing interview and program orientation at the fertility centre. It’s located in a public hospital {with notoriously bad parking!} so we went a little early to suss the place out and find a good spot to park. Thankfully we found a paid parking area that wasn’t completely full, so off we wandered to try and find the clinic. That’s when we proceeded to get completely lost, end up walking through staff offices, and see me end up <—–> this close from having a meltdown on the spot. We eventually found it, but not before walking through the Women’s Health Clinic, aka preggo city, and ending up drenched in sweat.
Our nurse was lovely. She took my height and weight measurements, gave me a swipecard for identification in the future, and sat down with us for a good hour, going over our long cycle. Looking at our history, she said she felt confident that IVF without ICSI would do the trick, though that could be revisited in the future if we don’t achieve any successful pregnancies. The clinic we’re using is public & not-for-profit, so they can only place so many couples on the program at each time, and we were SO lucky to get on immediately. I suppose the fluke of being CD1 at our appointment paid off!
The protocol for us is in the mail, so we should know more about the specifics in the coming weeks. I’ll be sure to share that with you, later.
I’m trying so hard to stay positive about this whole experience, I am. At the same time, I’m trying to protect my heart and my confidence, and be realistic in the fact that it might not work for us. We might need to revisit this process several times, and it’s going to take time. Everyone seems to have a story about IVF, about friends falling pregnant on the first time, about the likelihood of carrying twins, about this, about that. That’s all well and good {and is mostly well meaning} but I need to focus on me and J. Our journey might go smoothly, or it might not.
So while things are exciting and new, and will hopefully bring about good things in the future.. I’m still grieving. I’m grieving the loss of the baby that we might have conceived the natural way. I’m grieving the loss of a surprising, unexpected positive result on a pregnancy test. I’m grieving each time I hear an announcement of a pregnancy, or a baby arriving, from friends, family members, internet strangers.
But this is not meant to be a post all about sadness and loss. It’s a hopeful one. It’s knowing that we are on the path that we’re meant to be on. As much as I complain about waiting, about having nothing to update, and about this whole process, just know this: I feel so grateful, too. I’m grateful that we can afford to make sacrifices financially, to make this happen. I’m grateful that our families support us, no matter what happens. And I’m grateful to have my husband, who truly is my other half.
Our chance to become parents in 2012 is over. But maybe, just maybe, 2013 will be our year.
After a temp drop yesterday, I woke up to AF-cramps this morning. Back to CD1 we go. Isn’t it ironic that on the day of our IVF orientation, I am back to square one? Hoping and praying they’ll let us start NOW. I’ll update later.
I lost all sense of saneness today, after testing at 8DPO.
BFN, of course. Like it would be anything else!?
Why did I do that? I have no idea. The preggo sticks are on lockdown until at least Tuesday at the earliest (10dpo) and then Thursday (12dpo) #crazy lady
O was confirmed by BBT yesterday, so I’m in my second TWW in that many cycles. How did I get so lucky? Thank goodness for at least getting a second try.
I’m 4DPO now.
Our IVF appointment is next week. AF is due next week. This will be interesting, no matter what happens.
I thought I was out this month. I’ve peed on sticks for days, and no O signs at all. I was so cranky this morning, in a right horrible mood. As I was getting my OPK sticks and Fertility Monitor sticks ready, I was wondering why I bothering. It’s CD19. I put the stick in the monitor and went to have a shower.
I was so irritable and distracted, I got out of the shower and left. Straight to work, straight to get through the day. I’d even timed my progesterone start date to be this coming weekend, so that it would fall just after our IVF appointment on March 15th.
Well, I got home this afternoon & remembered… went to check, and BAM. Peak. Are you freaking kidding me? I decided to use a Wondfo dip stick, and my digital OPK stick, and BAM. Positive. Looks like I’m set to O soon. Where the heck did THAT come from?
So now, I’m a bit nervous. If I do O in the next few days, it’s cutting it close to our nurse’s appointment. I would feel the safest if I got my BFN/AF/CD1 on or AFTER this appointment, as I have this irrational fear that being a couple of days early will mean I will have to prolong the ENTIRE IVF cycle for a month. Fingers crossed, eh?
